DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better

“So how would you answer the question 'has this woman been here?'"
"...No."
Good afternoon. The panel of peril surround themselves with stuffed birds of prey, and make a sandwich to eat whilst watching this week’s film Psycho (Alfred Hitchcock, 1960).
Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) has been a bit of a silly billy. Stealing $40,000 from her employer before hightailing it across country, she is in a right pickle. But that’s just the beginning of her problems as she stops to rest for the night at the Bates Motel and a fateful encounter with its proprietor, Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins).
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTJQfFQ40lI
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Just after she decides to return the loot and do hard time, Norman’s mother bursts into the bathroom and slaughters Marion as she showers! One of the most iconic scenes in cinema history sets the film on edge as Marion’s sister, her erstwhile beau, and a private detective all try to decipher her whereabouts and confirm or deny whether a boy’s best friend is indeed his mother.
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?
Sound effect by Sad Violin - Quick Sounds
Music by An Alien Presence - Pixabay
Arrow’s beautiful new complete 4K Psycho boxset can be pre-ordered here: https://www.arrowfilms.com/4k/the-psycho-collection-limited-edition-4k-ultra-hd/14869824.html

“It’s like a tw@!ty English version of the can-can”
The panel of peril hold their flintlock pistols outwards ready to fire when instructed, which could happen at any point during this week’s film Barry Lyndon (Stanley Kubrick, 1975).
The Kingdom of Ireland – 1750: Redmond Barry (Ryan O’Neal) is a young whelp whose infatuation with his cousin leads to him having to flee his town, setting off a series of unlikely events. Fighting and gambling his way across Europe, Barry is determined to better his lot in life, but at what cost?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwXa1n8jcNQ
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Eventually worming his way into the bed chamber of Lady Lydon (Marisa Berenson), Barry takes the vacant position of husband, formerly belonging to Sir Charles Lyndon (Frank Middlemass). But his position and fortune are not secured unless he can acquire the title of Lord from the toffs of high society. Only the wimpish Lord Bullingdon (Leon Vitali), Sir and Lady Lyndon’s heir, stands in his way…
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Music by Music_For_Videos from Pixabay
Music by Nesrality from Pixabay
Sound Effect by Archideax from Pixabay
Music by Grand_Project from Pixabay
Music by Magiksolo from Pixabay
Sound Effect by Nesrality from Pixabay

“Buffy The Empire Slayer”
The panel of peril sit on a sofa as it slowly lowers into a steamy hole in the ground. Once they re-emerge you see that they are encased in carbonite to watch this week’s film Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (Irvin Kershner, 1980).
The continuing adventures of Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) and Han Solo (Harrison Ford), see them try to outrun Darth Vader (James Earl Jones/Dave Prowse), train with kooky little psycho wiener Yoda (Frank Oz), and hide out with old pal Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams) in Cloud City.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNwNXF9Y6kY
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
But… IT’S A TRAP! Lando has taken an ever-altering deal with Vader to turn over his rebel scum chums in exchange for the safety of his city. And the Dark Lord of the Sith has a stunning revelation for the Tatooine farmboy too! To quote R2D2 “yeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooowwwww!”
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most Sithy/diabolical?

“I’ve never considered what the plural of rectum is before now”
The panel of peril sit down in the cinema to watch this week’s film before getting sucked off into the film and then being inside the film. That film? Last Action Hero (John McTiernan, 1993), of course!
Young Danny (Austin O’Brien) is something of a cinephile, and his favourite series – Jack Slater – is poised to release its fourth instalment. When he is invited to a private screening and given a ticket imbued with the power of Harry Houdini (!), he gets more than he bargained for as he enters the world of the film and meets his hero, Slater (Arnold Schwarzenegger).
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4JTnLmcEEo
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Danny’s insistence on letting the characters of Slater IV has the unfortunate side effect of glass-eyed-henchman Benedict (Charles Dance) becoming self-aware and escaping to the real world. There he will enlist the help of other movie villains in a quest to eliminate star Arnold Schwarzenegger (Arnold Schwarzenegger), and therefore Slater himself. Can Danny and Slater stop this lunatic without the aid of action movie logic?
What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?
Sound Effect by MabelAmber from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Music by QubeSounds from Pixabay

"I'm just wondering, has any of the Panel of Peril ever stayed in a cabin in the woods?"
"My sister's been to Center Parks"
The panel of peril laugh hysterically at a mounted deer’s head, then a lamp, then sit on a rocking chair to watch this week’s film, Evil Dead 2 (Sam Raimi, 1987). The chair collapses.
Ash (Bruce Campbell) is heading into his second day in a haunted, secluded cabin in the woods. His only company? Demons, Deadites and ghouls, including a particularly nasty hag named Henrietta (Ted Raimi). Can Ash hold back the hordes until dawn, or will the paranormal trouble-makers swallow his soul?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lM3NPeEG24
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Enlisting the help of Annie (Sarah Berry), Jake (Dan Hicks) and Bobbie Jo (Kassie Wesley DePaiva), Ash must retrieve the missing pages of the Necronomicon Ex Mortis, roughly translated the Book of the Dead. But could it be possible that reading those missing pages is all part of Henrietta’s evil scheme?
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?
Music: Happy Birthday to You Ska - Pixabay

“It’s peak 1980s neon future vision”
The panel of peril spray black paint across their eyes and cartwheel over to the sofa to take in a viewing of this week’s film, Blade Runner: The Final Cut (Ridley Scott, 1980/2017).
Deckard (Harrison Ford) is the titular runner, tasked with hunting down four artificial lifeforms known as Replicants. Led by the charismatic Batty (Rutger Hauer), the Replicants merely seek more than the four years of life that their programming allows for. Sad, in’t it?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoEyZoOTtss
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Making his way to the Replicants’ creator to plea for more life/squeeze his head to bits, Batty will let nothing get in the way of his and his brothers and sisters survival, not even Indiana Jones for cripes sake.
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Music by Stringer_Bell from Pixabay
Sound Effect by SoundsForYou from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Sound Effect by SoundReality from Pixabay

“Have you ever seen a man who’s been hit by the brown note?”
The panel of peril are wearing sunglasses indoors, but that does not impair the viewing experience for this week’s opus The Blues Brothers (John Landis, 1980).
Jake (John Belushi) and Elwood (Dan Aykroyd) are on a mission from God. A mission to raise $5000 for the orphanage that they grew up in, by any means possible. Featuring music legends Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, James Brown, Cab Calloway and Chaka Khan, The Blues Brothers is a one of a kind comedy, musical romp with tons of cracking action to boot.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HCR4c1zPyk
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people on their trail, doing their utmost to stop the Blues and their band in their tracks. A Mystery Woman (Carrie Fisher), The Police (headed up by John Candy), and some actual Nazis all have them in their sights. Will they succeed or will Jake and Elwood raise the spondulicks for kids, brah?
What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?
Wile E. Coyote catches Road Runner! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJJW7EF5aVk
Music from Piano Blues and Gospel Sisters Choir Humming - Pixabay
Music from Jazzy Band - Pixabay
Sound effect from Sad Violin Sound Effect - Quick Sounds

“Oh he’s not a giggler. He’s a very serious boy”
The panel of peril stand back and admire their collection of Arnold Vosloo DVDs before popping The Mummy (Stephen Sommers, 1999) into their PS2.
Rick (Brendan Fraser), Evelyn (Rachel Weisz) and Jonathan (John Hannah) are on the hunt for the buried treasures of Hamunaptra but fail to take account of the dangers ahead. Ancient mummy Imhotep (played by our fave actor Arnold Vosloo) is roused from his slumber when the book of the dead is read from and he is cranky, let me tell you.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7oKxlaUBac
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Imhotep’s grand plan is to resurrect his main squeeze Anck Su Namun (Patricia Velasquez) using said book and Evelyn as the vessel for her soul. Can our daring heroes stop the rampaging bandage boy, or will the world succumb to the ancient plagues of Egypt?
What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical? And which Arnold Vosloo film should we watch next?
Music by PianoAmor from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Sound Effect by SamuelFrancisJohnson from Pixabay
The Yeti assaults Hulk Hogan! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScmU67uwZGc

“Here comes Chekov’s sack!”
The panel of peril scrub themselves down with a wire brush and bleach having already watched this week’s film, Audition (Takashi Miike, 1999).
Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi) is a single parent with his own, successful, film production company. He is also extremely lonely. Knowing this, his friend Yasuhisa arranges for a film audition to double as an interview process for a romantic partner for Shigeharu, unbeknownst to the women. Or is it? Taking a shine to Asami Yamazaki (Eihi Shiina), the widower may get more than he bargained for after a brief getting to know you period. Oh my, yes.
Watch the (spoilerific) trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBQHp2__AVQ
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
She’s insane guys. She’s absolutely insane. Asami enjoys nothing more than paralysing men with poison, before dissecting them slowly for her own amusement. Seriously, do not watch this one if you are averse to explicit gore. How can Shigeharu possibly escape the clutches of Asami once tangled in her web?
What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?
Music from Electronic Rock (King Around Here) - Pixabay

“He’s got quite a punchable face”
The panel of peril jump onto the dance mat at their local arcade, kicking some major butt, before relaxing at home with their best gal (not even holding hands) and watching this week’s film Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (Edgar Wright, 2010).
Scott (Michael Cera) is a young roustabout who has a band named Sex Bob-omb and high school girlfriend named Knives Chau (Ellen Wong). But when the mysterious Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) arrives on the scene Scott must heroically dump Knives and battle seven evil exes to win the heart of the blue haired beauty.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wd5KEaOtm4
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
One by one Scott must defeat each of Ramona’s evil exes, before reaching final boss Gideon Graves (Jason Schwartzman) and defeating him in mortal combat. Can Scott turn them all into a big pile of coins on the floor, or will Gideon make it game over for our young hero?
What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?
Sound Effect by UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Sound Effect by beetpro from Pixabay