DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better

“I know that your Snicket is quite lemony”
The Panel of Peril go in, guns ablazin’, taking out bad guy after bad guy before arriving at the final boss: a television screen showing this week’s film The Expendables 2 (Simon West, 2012).
A truly all-star cast – including Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Jean Claude Van Damme, Jet Li and Scott Adkins – assemble, as team of mercenaries The Expendables return to try and foil Jean Villain’s scheme to sell off a load of plutonium and upset the balance of the world. Can Barney and the gang stop the dastardly arms dealers before the world is changed forever?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip_CYHdyUBs
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Villain’s real mistake was killing Liam Hemsworth Expendable, of course. Driven by a thirst for revenge, his old team are in a race against time to both halt the sale of weapons grade plutonium plus track, find and kill Villain. Hopefully with enough time left for a few bevvies and chuckles afterwards?
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

“Tumbling down a hole of regret”
The panel of peril sailed to sea, but got bored, and so they sailed on to the sun 'til they found a sea of green and they lived beneath the waves in their yellow submarine. Once there they watched this week’s film Yellow Submarine (George Dunning, 1968).
John Lennon (John Clive), Paul McCartney (Geoff Hughes), George Harrison (Paul Angelis) and Ringo Starr (also Paul Angelis) are charged with captaining the titular vessel in order to save Pepper Land from the dastardly Blue Meanies (also also Paul Angelis). Can they restore the colour that has been stolen by those weird little fellas?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vefJAtG-ZKI
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT (well, not really)********
They’re a bunch of bad lads those Blue Meanies, with a cadre of diabolical characters who collude with them. Apple Bonkers, The Dreadful Flying Glove, The Suckophant and many more line up to take out the Fab Four. Will the colour remain drained from Pepper Land, or will the Liverpool lads classic tunes enable a very grand restoration?
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Music by Oleksii Kaplunskyi from Pixabay
Music by Sergei Chetvertnykh from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Sound Effect by Micheal from Pixabay
Robert Zemeckis’ Yellow Submarine CG test footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLtMxyI-6tA

“They must have sent a camel turd into space and frozen it, surely?”
The panel of peril ride frantically across a field on horseback throwing a blu ray from rider to rider. A final desperate lunge sees them insert it into a player in order to watch this week’s film Zack Snyder’s Justice League (Zack Snyder, 2021).
Batman (Ben Affleck), Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), Aquaman (Jason Momoa), Cyborg (Ray Fisher), Superman (Henry Cavill) and Flash (Ezra Miller) are forced into an uneasy alliance when a mysterious invader named Steppenwolf (Ciaran Hinds) arrives on Earth. His intentions prove somewhat less than peaceful though, and he rampages across the globe seeking three mysterious motherboxes. Can the League prevent an Apokoliptic ending?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui37YKQ9AC4
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Steppenwolf is merely the underling attempting to please an even bigger bad in the form of Darkseid (Ray Porter). He seeks the boxes and yet another mysterious artefact in order to calm Darkseid’s anger and earn the right to return to his home planet. Sad to say, it will result in the complete destruction of Earth – our only hope lies with DC’s rag tag group of superheroes. Fingers crossed.
What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?
Aa comparison point, view the trailer for the theatrical cut here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9-DM9uBtVI

“He likes his omelette empty”
The panel of peril put on a black shirt, black suit, black tie, black shoes, and black sunglasses before settling in to watch the film of the week Grosse Pointe Blank (George Armitage, 1997).
Martin (John Cusack) is a professional hitman who likes to keep things simple; no friends, acquaintances, or company meetings on his agenda thank you very much. So when fellow hitman Grocer (Dan Aykroyd) tries to enlist him in his new union, Martin is somewhat less than keen to take him up on the offer. Cue one monumental, and deadly, strop from the balding baddie.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF7t91gbSf8
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Neatly tying together a visit to his high school reunion in Grosse Point with his latest hit job, Martin hopes to reconnect with jilted prom night flame Debi (Minnie Driver). Unbeknownst to him, two NSA agents (Hank Azaria and K. Todd Freeman) and the aforementioned Grocer are tailing him, waiting for a chance to pounce and catch him on the job. Will Martin and/or Debi make it through the high school reunion alive?
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

“Still optimistic aren't they, not trudging off, like Charlie Brown, saying "this time next year...", like Del Boy”
The panel of peril alight their small scooter and nearly freeze to death on the journey they are required to make in order to watch this week’s film Dumb And Dumber (Peter Farrelly, 1994).
Harry (Jeff Daniels) and Lloyd (Jim Carrey) are two best friends with a dream of opening a pet store that sells worms (named I Got Worms), but a hilariously low intelligence quotient. So when Lloyd accidentally intercepts a briefcase full of ransom money, left by Mary (Lauren Holly), they unknowingly find themselves the targets of kidnappers and ne’er-do-wells as they seek to return it. Hijinks ensue as Harry and Lloyd take to the road on a road trip to Aspen.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l13yPhimE3o
********PloT SPoILEr AlErT********
Friend of Mary’s family Nicholas (Charles Rocket) is the man making the monetary demands. Convinced that Harry and Lloyd are a couple of genius do-gooders, he enlists the help of some ruffians to recover the lost loot. But whatever could be his backup plan if Harry and Lloyd were to spend a hefty portion of the cash on frivolous purchases (sports cars, posh hotel rooms, day glo formal wear)?
What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?
A helpful article on Yura-Chara can be found here: https://www.yurugp.jp/en/
Sound effect from Pixabay - Call To Attention
Sound effect from Pixabay - Airport Ambiance 1

“1982 also spawned other babies in the form of films”
The panel of peril outrun some weird crab beetles, wade through a thick bog, and dive over a fiery precipice… to their couch to watch this week’s film, the first of season 4, The Dark Crystal (Jim Henson & Frank Oz, 1982).
Jen (Jim Henson/Stephen Garlick) is the only creature of his kind, a Gelfling. Not only that, but he is the hero prophesied to restore the dark crystal, thus ending the despotic reign of the evil Skeksis over the planet Thra. Meeting allies Aughra (Frank Oz/Billie Whitelaw) and Kira (Kathryn Mullen/Lisa Maxwell) along the way, will Jen succeed in his mission before the fateful conjunction of planets?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaH6cOR8NKc
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Unfortunately for Jen and the gang, the crystal has shown the Skeksis exactly what is afoot. They send out minions and roadblocks to foil them at every turn to secure their seat of power for all eternity. Will this be the latest episode where the bad guys win? Only one way to find out!
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Music by AntipodeanWriter from Pixabay
Sound Effect by Micheal from Pixabay

"Dr Philip Decker is a respected psychiatrist who has been leading a double life..."
"- Double Decker!"
The panel of peril die before being swiftly resurrected on the mortuary slab. They then go to an underground town named Midian. They then watch this week’s film Nightbreed: The Director’s Cut (Clive Barker, 1990/2014).
Aaron Boone (Craig Sheffer) is a young man plagued by dreams of monsters residing in the hidden town of Midian. Not only that but he is convinced that he is a prolific killer of humans, specifically children, but this notion has been driven into him by his therapist Dr. Phillip K. Decker (David Cronenberg). But just how will Boone’s dreams and his imagined crimes collide?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKXnT8FVleY
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Decker’s plan is truly diabolical: framing Boone for his own murders, and causing his death at the hands of the police. Little does he know that Boone’s connection to Midian means he can resurrect, embrace his monstrous nature and join with the Nightbreed to combat the nefarious forces of man. Will our gang of rag tag freaks be able to hold back Decker and the cops, or is Midian and her denizens done for?
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And, in this final episode of season 3, who will be christened most diabolical?
Music: Powerul Heavy Rock (Barehanded) - Pixabay

“You are my number one guy – tickle me!”
Removing a grappling gun from their utility belt(s) before aiming and shooting it skyward, the panel of peril zip up to an overhead gantry to watch this week’s film Batman (Tim Burton, 1989).
Batman (Billy Crystal/Michael Keaton) is emerging from the shadows of Gotham City as conspiracy theories about him find their way into the news. Gotham’s police force is riddled with corruption. And local, mid-level gangster Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson) has just taken a tumble into a vat of chemicals, courtesy of Bats. The collision course is set; who shall prevail?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgC9Q0uhX70
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Love that Joker! He’s only throwing a big parade, with entertainment, and $20m in cash being redistributed amongst Gotham’s working class! Whadda guy! Or is he? What about that Smylex chemical he’s put in cleaning products that causes people to die laughing? Batman doesn’t think it’s a very nice thing to do, and neither do we! Can the Caped Crusader stop the Clown Prince of Crime becoming the city’s newest top dog, mob boss?
What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?
Sound Effects from Pixabay
Sound Effect by Music_For_Videos from Pixabay
Music by Humanoide_Media from Pixabay
Sound Effect by UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay
Sound Effect by SUBMORITY from Pixabay

“Sipping from a space-china teacup”
The Panel of Peril make comment about being a leaf on the wind or somesuch prior to being skewered by a large wooden pole directly through the chest. In their death throes they just about have time to watch this week’s film Serenity (Joss Whedon, 2005).
Mal (Nathan Fillion), Zoe (Gina Torres) and Wash (Alan Tudyk) run the good ship Serenity. Also aboard is traumatised fugitive River (Summer Glau) and her brother Simon (Sean Maher) who are on the run from the intergalactic Alliance. Specifically a man known as The Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor) who must stop her revealing a devastating secret that could shape the governing body to its very core!
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8JNjmK5lfk
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Turns out River knows the secret of a planet where the terraforming process ‘failed’: Miranda. The Alliance dosed the population with a drug to make them passive/compliant which resulted in death for most. For the rest, they were turned into the insane, cannibalistic Reavers. Bit of a silly error on The Alliance’s part all things considered. Can the crew of Serenity reveal the secret to all, or will The Operative silence them forever?
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?
Music: Far From The City - Pixabay
Music: President Garfields Inauguration By John Philip Sousa - Pixabay

“If the opportunity presents itself, you can always go for the shoe poo.”
The panel of peril dash to the bathroom with a glass and a saltshaker, making themselves a wonderful briney drink, before sitting down to watch this week’s film Casino Royale (Martin Campbell, 2006).
James Bond (Daniel Craig) is just starting out his career as a 00 agent. His first mission is to track down the money being wagered by in-between man Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen) and attempt to bankrupt him in a high stakes game of poker at the titular casino. Is Bond’s poker face up to the task?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36mnx8dBbGE
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Bond isn’t the only person under pressure to perform as Le Chiffre is under the employ of Mr. White’s (Jesper Christensen) shadowy organisation, who introduce the blood weeping bugger to the Lord’s Resistance Army whose funds he must gamble and win with. Also! Bond is joined on his mission by Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), an agent of the Treasury who may have a more vested interest in the task than she’s letting on ;)
What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?
Sound Effect by Muzaproduction from Pixabay
Sound Effect by UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay
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Music by JuliusH from Pixabay
Sound Effect by Fronbondi_Skegs from Pixabay
Sound Effect by Cristian_Changing from Pixabay